What a witty play on words, this restaurant was. For all you anglos who have been here for a while and still don't speak French, it's a homophone that translates into both "the idiots are serving" and "canned foods".
Once again, this was a generous invite/adventure offered by my dear friend. So away into his car we drive up the charming street of Laurier, or more like wander through all the strange and non-sensical one-way streets of Montreal to finally end up at this place.
I was hoping, with a name like the "idiots are serving", for the waiters to be a lot more forth-coming than they actually were. Maybe it was my French accent that put them off, maybe they weren't fun. Or maybe I was hoping for the waiters to play roller-derby in between tables, and that was the root of my deception. They did get their canned food part right, the whole wall behind the bar was filled with a variety of simple, preserves : the kind of rustic-chic atmosphere that Québecois enjoy so much.
The tables were all packed, and people were sitting closely together. This soon ended up with my friend chatting up a tall, fabulous woman who was in search of a bit of entertainment to relieve herself from her drab producer date - for which I was elected to distract. You could just tell that she was happy to let me deal with her grumpy old man. Awkward conversation ensuing, I was excited to start eating.
We decided to share a deer tartare-carpaccio with a beet salad, followed with scallops on spaetzle for me. Everything was good, but it just seemed to miss its mark - kind of like if Vermeer forgot to paint the earring in his masterpiece.
The carpaccio was good - it had many different toppings including fresh pesto and little vegetables. Maybe it was missing a bit of refinement, but in the end it was enjoyable. The beet salad came in the form of huge impractical chunks, overflowing with goat cheese. It was quite rustic, simple yet tasty. Not too original though.
The wine didn't go as smoothly... I was thouroughly intrigued by a Swiss Pinot-Noir, expecting a light, floral and fragile beverage from the Alps, but instead ending up with a very expensive bottle of potential vinegar. It's unfortunate that the waiter insisted that it wasn't corrupt, he lost a couple points there. At that point, I was thinking "the douchebags are serving." But I guess it all worked out in the end, we got another bottle of Italian something, good, but again very simple.
Finally the main courses arrived. I had actually ordered the scallops because they came with spaetzle, which is a kind of Alsacian pasta. Normally, if they're traditionally prepared, they are thick, chunky and refried in butter in a way that explains why Alsacians are the fattest French people out there (by more than 10lbs on average!). I think these guys jipped me in offering the 'light" version, but maybe I should thank them for maintaining my waistline. The scallops were fresh, tasted of the sea, also simply done.
In the end, the food was simple but good, even though I clearly have a bias against these kinds of places. Though I'm not Québecois-phobe (I was born here), I just have a thing against their "terroir" imitation places that are expensive, but have an awkward in-between-style of food and waiting - a noveau-riche combination of rustic and chic. They don't take any risks: they should instead have their staff either super friendly and informal, joking around with the clients, or have them be top notch and discrete. When you do terroir kind of food, keep it very simple and authentic. Use goddam butter on your spaetzle and don't top them with expensive ingredients like scallops to embellish something that is straight-forward. Or use your fancy scallops, but have them with some fine pasta. My major critique is essentially that there was no boldness or defined personality for a restaurant that appeared to claim the contrary.
To sum it all up:
5064 Papineau
Price : Once again, no idea...
Food : 6/10
Atmospere : 5/10
Service : 5/10
Drunkenness : 3/10
Overall : 5.5/10
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